My big fat Greek project meeting

Hellas! I would now like to proclaim my deepest sympathy to all vegetarians who are in Greece at the moment - and sorry for getting on your nerves with this topic once more, won't ever happen again, I promise...

The Greek word for vegetarian (χορτοφάγοσ) means “green eater”, the “green” part can also be translated as “grass”, “weeds”, “vegetable” and “lawn”. If I had to name a place with even less comprehension for the I-do-not-eat-dead-animals concept than Spain, it would be definitely be Greece. This is not the only similarity between the two nations: the languages sound very similar (something that does not stop confusing me when I listen to a conversation, convinced I should understand something – and being absolutely clueless), the equally loud volume of conversation, the great enthusiasm for soccer, children living at their parents’ place until they marry (and mom then being offended that she cannot spoil them any more), most of the daily life takes place outdoors – except for the nap after lunch – every summer there are a couple of severe bush fires, and they even speak English with the very same accent. Plus, there's a general understanding that a plate without fish or meat cannot possibly soothe any kind of hunger and thus under no circumstances be considered a meal. Well, this was my first impression after the (much too short) five days I spent in Thessaloniki for a work package meeting of my EU funded project.

But back to the food. You might think there’s no vegetarian food in Greece - you're absolutely wrong! Ironically there is so much and delicious food without any fish or meat that my mouth spontaneously starts watering and my pants feel a tiny bit too tight every time I think of it. It's merely the definition of “no meat and no fish” that every once in a while leads to confusion, as shown in a typical scene of the (hilarious!) movie “My big fat Greek wedding”:

- “But, aunt Voula, Ian is a vegetarian, he does not eat meat.” – “What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? ... [everyone in the room stares at her, shocked]… Oh, no problem, then I make lamb.“

Immediately after arriving at our 5 star beach ressort and spa (with its own yacht marina) on the Chalkidiki peninsula we had lunch; due to the financial crisis the menu had been reduced to only three courses. Yes, the EU has to tighten its (and its researchers’) belt. Our Greek coordinator, Katerina, had already mentioned the presence of a German vegetarian to the chief waiter and that Wendy from Maastricht was allergic to pork. No problem, replied the waiter in perfect English, lunch is 100% vegetarian anyway. Surprised by this announcement (and, I admit, a bit skeptical), I inquired for the details. The first course would be a salad with meatballs, followed by fried turkey breast and vegetables, then dessert and coffee. Ok. Hesitatingly I asked for a meatball free salad and a vegetable plate without turkey. To soothe the waiter’s concern about my persisting hunger, I suggested the turkey to be replaced by e.g. potatoes and sauce. No problem at all, lunch was perfect, 100% vegetarian and very tasty.

When Wendy and I entered the dinner hall later that day wearing T-Shirt, shorts and flip flops (by the way, Wendy’s supervisor was wearing the same outfit and spontaneously sent back to his room to change into suit and tie), our favorite waiter greeted us with a beaming smile on his face and proudly announced that dinner would be 100% vegetarian: a seafood salad followed by fish and, like before, dessert and coffee. His answer to my puzzled expression was: “You do eat fish, don’t you? Fish is no meat. Fish is 100% vegetarian. All vegetarians eat fish.“ I gave up, nodded and ate fish. It tasted rather fishy, but not as bad that it couldn’t be taken care of with some bigger amount of outstanding Greek white wine. In order not to waste any more tasty food, I peeled the three giant shrimps and auctioned them off at my end of the table for some extra dessert.

The next day during lunch – 100% vegetarian, just in case you were wondering – I wasn’t even asked any more whether or not I ate salmon. Apart from the already mentioned fishy taste it was pretty good. Our Greek coordinator frowned, asked since when I ate fish – hm, since yesterday’s dinner? – and could barely be stopped from getting the waiter into some big loud Greek 100% vegetarian trouble.

In the evening after our return to Thessaloniki I treated myself to a kilogram of 100% vegetarian cherries (worm free!), a 100% vegetarian roasted salty corn cob, and a 100% vegetarian Greek dessert. And, of course, to a 100% vegetarian ice cold Greek frappé – the world’s best coffee.

Next weekend, I’ll have a 100% vegetarian lunch at a Spanish wedding – with fish as the second course. And now will you please excuse me, I have to drink some ouzo, dance a sirtaki, eat my 100% vegetarian meal consisting of meatball stuffed lamb cordon bleu, a salmon shrimp cocktail, and a chicken salad on the side, and send a care package of tofu gyros to my fellow martyrs in Greece.

The baobab

At my last birthday at the end of march, I got a very unusual present, maybe the most unusual present I have ever been given so far. It was a small piece of wood, more like a branch of a tree, wrapped in a linen package with colorful African print, fair traded, bought from the one-world-shop in Tübingen, and coming directly from a tree nursery in Senegal (many thanks to my friends Doro and Sascha!). After a closer look it turned out to be a little baobab, to be planted into soil, and may it grow and florish. In the instruction it said: "Replant into potting soil. Place in full sunlight. Allow the soil to dry between two generous waterings and continue to water even if the baobab loses its leaves." This last sentence convinced me the tree would immediately lose every single leaf - that is, should it actually ever grow any in my presence, a.k.a. the death zone for plants of all kinds - and never be seen again sporting something green. Still very pessimistic I reluctantly looked for some soil, planted the baobab, watered it every once in a while, not without letting the soil dry first, and waited. Absolutely nothing happened.
At the beginning of july, I decided to grant the plant a grace period until Christmas before digging to look for roots in the soil and, in case of their continuing absence, replant it to the organic waste container.

The brochure that came with the tree read: "The baobab is the tree of long life and can accompany many generations. People meet in its shade to talk. Its old age makes him a companion of wise men and prophets of ancient times. The strength of those, it is said, who have once been sitting below the tree enters all those who do so afterwards." Well, I guess mine will be the first baobab to die away after a short and miserable period of life and without ever having cast a single shadow.

Well, who needs baobabs anyway, in addition to their even being most dangerous. The "Little Prince" more than once speaks out a warning about them and their - haha - unstoppable seeming growth. In chapter 5 you can read the following: “Now there were some terrible seeds on the planet that was the home of the little prince; and these were the seeds of the baobab. […] ‘A baobab is something you will never, never be able to get rid of if you attend to it too late. It spreads over the entire planet. […] Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day. But when it is a matter of baobabs, that always means a catastrophe. I knew a planet that was inhabited by a lazy man. He neglected three little bushes . . .’ […] I do not much like to take the tone of a moralist. But the danger of the baobabs is so little understood, […] that for once I am breaking through my reserve. 'Children,' I say plainly, 'watch out for the baobabs!' My friends, like myself, have been skirting this danger for a long time, without ever knowing it; and so it is for them that I have worked so hard over this drawing.”

So, maybe it would be best to get rid of the stupid plant, and it better be sooner than later. On the other hand, this would not be very polite – it was a birthday present after all…

But then summer came, and two weeks later I saw some tiny green dots and was absolutely convinced the tree was about to grow some leaves any time soon (nothing but wishful thinking, of course). The next time I checked, a couple of minute green leaves were visible, and that was the beginning of a story of success. Three days later, both size and number of leaves had doubled, and after a month the little plant had grown into what already looked a bit like a tree. By now, I can’t wait to check, day after day, how my little tree grows and grows and grows and grows, it is growing new leaves like crazy and obviously enjoys doing so. Maybe now would be a really good moment to eradicate and dispose of this evil piece of nature with roots and soil and everything that has ever been within a 5 feet radius of it – but unfortunately, it has already grown into my heart…

In case you’re looking for me, I’m resting in the shade of the baobab, letting strength and wisdom enter my body and mind, putting off some piece of work until another day, and waiting for the first blossom (due in 8-10 years – according to Wikipedia).